The Hordes on Kuta Beach

We knew it would be this way. Melody remembered this place from her last trip. But, it’s hard to describe the sheer wrongness of Kuta Beach until you experience it. Puerto Vallarta10 gets close. It’s to the tenth power because there are some many more people, so much more crap for sale, vendors are pushing the stuff on you so much harder. It’s hotter, the streets are tiny and claustrophobic. There’s an unbelievable amount of penis paraphernalia and t-shirts that beam mantras like “Up the Bum No Babys” (misspelling intended). Oh, and did I mention that when you are walking around there is this constant nagging feeling that you are about to get hit by a motor bike? My biggest fear in our 1.5 days here has been that I would get hit by a motor bike driven by an Australian. That would make me really mad.

So, Kuta is a shit hole jumping off point. A den of depravity of the spring break set looking to party by night and sleep through the days. We knew that. We’re here because Kuta is also a place where you can get things done. It may be twisted modernity, but it’s modernity none the less. Our mission here was to get a pair of cell phones, rent a car for our two months on Bali and just generally adjust to life in the Indian ocean. Yesterday we did all of that.

We set out on a walk with our goals in mind but just figured we’d see what happens. By the time we returned to our hotel we had two cell phones, procured at a Indonesian telecom shop where only one women spoke some English. Buying a cell phone is generally a somewhat mundane experience but this one, for all its novelty and communication challenge, was something special and sublime.

We were happy at that, to have taken care of our cell phone need. We thought we’d get some lunch, head home to our pool (did I mention that it is hot here?) and figure the car out the next day. At lunch our car fell into our laps. Melody, in her brilliance, asked the restaurant owner if he knew someone with a car for rent for a couple of months. He did of course. We ended up sitting with an Indonesian car rental guy in this quiet open air restaurant surrounded by gardens. It was the perfect place to negotiate and a fun experience. In a place where most people want to rent car for one or two days, having a two month time frame is a major bargaining chip. In the end we negotiated a small jeep like truck called a Katana for a good price.

Now, we’re just getting up. We’ll have some breakfast soon and then, if all goes well, accept delivery of our Katana at our hotel. With any luck we’ll flee Kootie Beach later this morning bound for Uluwatu and our home base on Bali.